Hail the Crimson Blur
Yo everyone. Competitive EverQuest is starting to feel a lot like masturbating; we’re doing it all by ourselves. And as we all know masturbating gets old quick. So we are seeking sexy and worthy challengers to spice things up. As noted in our previous update, we are the 1st and 2nd guild to beat The Brothers Zek. So only six short days ago we threw out a challenge & a prediction:
The Challenge:
“Simply zone into the Plane of War and speak with Jorgar the Pacifist to begin your quest at becoming the #3 guild in the entire universe.”
A gentleman’s challenge if ever there was one. Though I immediately followed it up with some straight Nostradamus shit and made this egomaniacal prediction:
The Prediction:
“Check back soon to find out who gets the coveted #3 spot in a heated competition for Best Guilds in the Universe. I’ll give you a hint, it rhymes with Helm of Insanity.”
Some people called that prediction brave, some people called it brash but those fool suckas should know better than to bet against the aces and kings in Realm of Insanity. I was confident in my Nostradamical prediction; we’d beat The Brothers Zek for a 3rd time and become the undisputed 1st, 2nd and 3rd Best Guild in the Universe.
Everything was going fine until this happened:
*** Hotfix ***
The Brothers Zek – Lowered the damage done by the Zek Brothers…
The Brothers Zek – Lowered the HP and damage values of the adds…
The Brothers Zek – Increased bonus spell damage to adds…
The Brothers Zek – Priests now have a bigger bonus to melee damage…
The Brothers Zek – Adds that are weak to fire now take more damage…
Mere hours after our glorious 2nd victory, those vile heretics at SoE were plotting against us and about to make me look like a false prophet. They turned The Most Difficultiest Event in EverQuest into The Most Nerfiest Event in EverQuest. Worst of all, we had to wait days until we could get back in there and secure another win for our 3rd place victory. Surely the rest of the “hardcore raiding guilds” will use this window of opportunity to beat this now-easy-as-fuck event, grab the 3 spot and usurp our claim to the title of Best Guild in the Universe. THE HORROR OF IT ALL. The fuck were we going to do? We were gonna do what we always do of course; this:
As it turns out, nobody beat the event in it’s handicapable form and as soon as our lockouts were up, we zoned in and beat The Brothers Zek like we were Joe Jackson and they were Tito and Michael.
I would love to offer another challenge but as you can see by the picture above, the winner’s podium only has 3 places to stand and we’re like…standing on all of them. Awkwarrrrrrrd.
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