Yo everyone. Do I even need to say it at this point? Get your shocked faces ready: This website update is late. How late? Well, we did all this shit on Nov 12th. In fairness, when you really think about it, “late” is a subjective term isn’t it? Most people might consider “a week” late but you have to remember you’re talking to a guy that delayed a website update for an entire year. So if you ask me, this shit is 51 weeks early. My logic is bullet proof.
So what did we do on Nov 12th that is so worthy of note? We finally broke through the arbitrary flagging barrier and progressed to Events 2, 3, 4 and that other bonus
level raid and promptly killed them, securing yet another gamewide first and further establishing ourselves as the Greatest Guild in the Universe but fuck all that, there is cooler shit happening deep within The Darkened Sea.
A few of us were fucking around on Thuliasaur Island – did you guys know there is an island packed full of fucking dinosaurs in this shit? Dinosaurs. Shit is rad. Anyway, we’re out there just basking in their awesome dino-presence when this named dinosaur rolls up on us all hardcore. His name was Reginasaur aka Reggie aka Reggie Washington aka Reggie “I smoke rocks” Washington. We tried to be cool but Reggie started trippin and we had to smack the teeth directly out of his mouth. Unfortunately for us, Reggie smoked the AC right off his teeth. Crack is whack, Reggie. Get it together.
Now you might be thinking to yourself, “What in the dino-fuck are you even talking about?”, just hear me out. I’ve explored The Darkened Sea up and down; the group shit, the raid shit and everything in between and I will maintain the opinion that an imaginary afro-saurus that smokes crack named Reggie Washington is the best thing this expansion has to offer and I dare anyone to show me something from this expansion cooler than Reggie. I mean when 6 of us are out questing in this shitpit and we’re forced to make up ridiculous backstories for named mobs just to not literally die of boredom, this shit sucks. Anyway, lets recap the raid events we dominated. Click the loot below to see the stats if you’re into that sort of thing:
Principal Quastori Numicia, Event 2
Principal Vicarum Nomia, Event 3
Principal Indagatrix Lucia, Event 4
Praetor Vitio, Loot Piñata #2
Once we finish repeating these raids enough times to meet the arbitrary requirements to progress, we’ll have fresh kills and late updates for you. Check back soon! XOXO
Yo everyone. We’re ankle deep into the new expansion, The Darkened Sea. The expansion has only been out for a few days so it would be unfair to cast judgment upon all it has to offer but a couple of things real quick:
We still managed to hail some NPCs and find our way into the initial events of the expansion. We made quick work of both Defense of the City and Captain Tita’s Ghost being the first to defeat them serverwide, gamewide, worldwide, whatever they’re calling it nowadays. And since The Darkened Sea has borrowed the lovely raid flagging system from Veil of Alaris, we get to flag-farm for a while before we can move onto the bigger and betters. Fun times. Once we trampstample more events in TDS, we’ll be sure to regurgitate the details of our tales here. For now, here are the current victims and their booty. Click the loot to see the stats if you’re into that sort of thing.
Yo everyone. We are a day away from SOE Live, where a veritable nerd herd shall brave the rays of the bright desert sun and descend upon the wonderful city of Las Vegas to discuss a variety of MMO related topics such as “she was actually a guy the whole time” and “how much from the all-you-can-eat buffet are you allowed take back to the room”, the later of which will be measured in pounds…and probably the former, now that I think about it. So with that monumentous occasion looming, I figured this was probably a good time to update the website; to document our dominance in the world of EverQuest officially.
So where we at? Last time you were here, you saw that we firmly put it in Argin-Hiz’s pooper before anyone else; no sloppy seconds for us. But the remainder of the Call of the Forsaken expansion, the final event, was still forthcoming. We were anxious to finish off this pig but we had to wait. That’s when Charlie dropped a surprise attack on us: the final event, The Journey Home, was going live at 3AM EST – an unusual, unprecedented and undermining maneuver. In the end, this proved to be the most challenging aspect of the expansion’s finale: explaining to our wives why we sleep through the alarm for work at 6AM but are up and ready to raid at 3AM. Unsurprisingly, our collective pimp hands were strong and we smacked the shit out of
our wives Zebuxoruk and his team of flunkies for our 6th consecutive #1 serverwide win. Congratulations to all of my misters and sisters in Realm of Insanity.
Disclaimer: I know that on the Tower of Rot update I stated that we were on like 7 consecutive wins but I miscounted. Apologies. When it comes to serverwide expansion victories, we haven’t had to count past 1 in a while so I got all fucked up. In any case: we’re #1, 6 in a row. It is known. XOXOXO