Yo everyone. Just a quick update to kick off the new year and it’s a biggie. We wanted to get 2015 started off proper so mark your calendars and check your local listings because Realm of Insanity will be streaming our raids beginning this Sunday, January 4th at 7:30PM EST. We’ll be debuting our stream this Sunday but we will be streaming every Sunday that follows until doomsday. You can view all of our ins, outs and what-have-yous at twitch.tv/roiguild. Substitute your favorite porn bookmark with that URL and fappily witness first-person EverQuest history in the making, as it happens, in real-time, front and center! I’m so excited I just shit-pissed my pantaloons.
Yo everyone. We finally have a website update, it’s a Christmas miracle. So here I go again, weaving a web of intricate excuses for why the website update is late and/or maintaining the position that it isn’t actually that late so I don’t look like the slacker we all know that I am. Well this time I am owning up to it. Yep, it’s time to be a man and lay in the bed I made. This website update is very late. Very late. We can discuss just how very late..soon, but first let’s get into the nuts and guts of this thing.
All we had left to do in The Darkened Sea to secure another #1 serverwide finish was jump through the repetitive and arbitrary hoops of the flagging system in order to get to the much unanticipated fifth and final event, Confronting Calix, and defeat it. Even when an expansion sucks gorilla nuts, which this one surely does, I’m always hopeful the final event will be something worth working towards. I’m always hopeful that the final event will be challenging and new or at least have a final boss that looks cool. Confronting Calix had neither of these. Since I’ve done exactly zero research and reading regarding the lore in this expansion, I have no idea how Calix managed to buddy up with our old friend Lanys T’Vyl but here she is…again…back at the end of another expansion…again. Excuse me, I need to go change my pants – I just pissed myself with excitement and probably sarcasm.
Continuing on, the event itself was nothing special which isn’t very surprising or disappointing; you get used to that sort of thing. What I found delightful was whoever is in charge over there at SoE for coming up with the big “you just beat the expansion” post-event finale has the same level of enthusiasm for Lanys T’Vyl’s part in this saga as we do:
Something tells me that bitch is going to go all wrister-sister and kill herself for losing…again. Speaking of ‘again’, I want to once again congratulate my Realm of Insanity misters and sisters for another serverwide #1 expansion finish, further establishing us as The Best Guild in the Universe. Here is the loot we excavated from the excrement; click for stats! Oo la la!
Now if you read our last update, nothing about that second to last image seemed out of the ordinary. If you didn’t read our last update, then you might be wondering what the fuck is up with the afro-saurus sporting some mean aviators and smoking a stogie. Well that’s just our buddy, Reggie Washington. Reggie is an imaginary dinosaur that appeared one day to save us from the boredom and drudgery of The Darkened Sea. You can find Reggie slangin’ rock on his block down at Thuliasaur Island. And while Reggie may be imaginary, I assure you that he keeps it very real. How real does Reggie keep it? Well SoE recently send out a customer satisfaction survey asking you to take 5 minutes of your time and give them feedback about The Darkened Sea expansion. 5 minutes? Reggie ain’t got no time fo’dat. So Reggie came up with his own survey which is really quite simple:
Take a second to cast your vote below. You can check back in a few weeks for the results which we will share here, there and everywhere. In the meantime, from
all most of us here at Realm of Insanity, have a happy holiday. We love you.
More details to come once we’re done stuffing turkey down our throats.
Yo everyone. Do I even need to say it at this point? Get your shocked faces ready: This website update is late. How late? Well, we did all this shit on Nov 12th. In fairness, when you really think about it, “late” is a subjective term isn’t it? Most people might consider “a week” late but you have to remember you’re talking to a guy that delayed a website update for an entire year. So if you ask me, this shit is 51 weeks early. My logic is bullet proof.
So what did we do on Nov 12th that is so worthy of note? We finally broke through the arbitrary flagging barrier and progressed to Events 2, 3, 4 and that other bonus
level raid and promptly killed them, securing yet another gamewide first and further establishing ourselves as the Greatest Guild in the Universe but fuck all that, there is cooler shit happening deep within The Darkened Sea.
A few of us were fucking around on Thuliasaur Island – did you guys know there is an island packed full of fucking dinosaurs in this shit? Dinosaurs. Shit is rad. Anyway, we’re out there just basking in their awesome dino-presence when this named dinosaur rolls up on us all hardcore. His name was Reginasaur aka Reggie aka Reggie Washington aka Reggie “I smoke rocks” Washington. We tried to be cool but Reggie started trippin and we had to smack the teeth directly out of his mouth. Unfortunately for us, Reggie smoked the AC right off his teeth. Crack is whack, Reggie. Get it together.
Now you might be thinking to yourself, “What in the dino-fuck are you even talking about?”, just hear me out. I’ve explored The Darkened Sea up and down; the group shit, the raid shit and everything in between and I will maintain the opinion that an imaginary afro-saurus that smokes crack named Reggie Washington is the best thing this expansion has to offer and I dare anyone to show me something from this expansion cooler than Reggie. I mean when 6 of us are out questing in this shitpit and we’re forced to make up ridiculous backstories for named mobs just to not literally die of boredom, this shit sucks. Anyway, lets recap the raid events we dominated. Click the loot below to see the stats if you’re into that sort of thing:
Principal Quastori Numicia, Event 2
Principal Vicarum Nomia, Event 3
Principal Indagatrix Lucia, Event 4
Praetor Vitio, Loot Piñata #2
Once we finish repeating these raids enough times to meet the arbitrary requirements to progress, we’ll have fresh kills and late updates for you. Check back soon! XOXO