Party Smasher
Yo everyone. It’s the most wonderful time of the year; why? First, I am graciously bestowing a website update upon you, the unworthy masses. Second, the ghouls at Gamebreak Days are giving us yet another EverQuest expansion, The Broken Mirror. Hold up. Before we get to the new shit, let’s take a minute to remember the old shit. But before we even do that, let’s talk recruitment.
With the new expansion right around the corner, Realm of Insanity is opening recruitment. Now is your chance to get in and see how the reigning #1 don megas of EverQuest do it. You can view our recruitment threads here for more information. While we are currently seeking players of the classes listed below, we will always consider exceptional players from any class. Contact xegony.Qulas if your balls are big enough or if you have questions about your balls being big enough; they very well may be. This is what we need:
High Demand:
- Beastlord
- Ranger
- Shaman
Medium Demand:
- Berserker
- Cleric
Ok, enough of that businessy shit. Let’s revisit last expansion, The Darkend Sea, one final time before we forever move on.
I mean, I come on here and shit on pretty much everything. Just everything. Shit everywhere. Just shitting words of shit. Fingers like loose assholes just typing uncontrolled shit. On everything. Shit. And while that’s pretty much the only reality I know, I do acknowledge that sometimes I can someday I could be wrong. And while I found the The Darkened Sea about as enjoyable as AIDS eyedrops, I thought I would do the fair thing and let the voice of the peoples be heard. After all, I am a man of the people if nothing else.
So I put a poll up pinning EverQuest’s 21st expansion The Darkened Sea against Realm of Insanity’s very own Reggie Washington. You might remember Reggie as the hot tempered afro-saurus from like every website update last year. Hundreds of people turned out to vote in the poll and as you can see by the final results below, it was a real barn burner:
Oh…wait. Reggie won by like…a lot.
I just want to take a second to remind everyone that Reggie Washington doesn’t exist. He’s literally just a dinosaur with an afro, a cigar and some sweet aviators that I made up entirely in my imagination. He’s not real. He doesn’t exist. But The Darkened Sea is very real, it does exist and we all spent like $80 on it. Keep up the good work. I can’t wait to see what’s waiting for us in EverQuest’s 22nd expansion, The Broken Mirror.
The shit isn’t even released yet and I can tell we’re off to a good start with this one. Next time you name an expansion, pick a name that doesn’t come directly off of a book about coping with body dysmorphia. Not that I don’t truly love ruining people’s days but scores of body dysmorphic psychopaths Google searching ‘The Broken Mirror’ will soon have to scroll through rows of results featuring a scantily clad elf that is quite comfortable in her metal bikini. Forever reminding those fatty pig pigs of the body image and comfort that they will never have. Ever, pigs. Do you hear me? Ever.
Fucking nailed it. I can’t wait for the 23rd expansion, EverQuest: The Porcelain God which introduces the new god Bulimia Nervosa and his attempts to bring Norrath to its knees. I can’t speak for everyone but I’m hungry to binge play that one and more. AFK, bathroom
Keeping up with the just fantastic decisions, The Broken Mirror is scheduled to be released on November 17th alongside another much anticipated game, Star Wars: Battlefront. Here is me on November 17th:
I can’t believe I’m about to say this with a straight face: Check back here frequently for future website updates as we smash and grab our way through The Broken Mirror. There will be oh so many tales of victory and virtue as told by yours truly. I’m so excited for something new to write about that I can’t stop soiling myself. There’s not a pair of dry pants in this house. And if you’re not into reading which, let’s face it, who is; you can watch us on Twitch at twitch.tv/roiguild. Until then, keep your biscuit buttered.
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